I have been out of the picture the past several weeks. I apologize to those of you who read my blog and look forward to it. To those who don't....I wish you would. The reason I have been remiss is that my daughter Rachel was killed in a boating accident on the lake here in Oklahoma.
I just wanted to use this forum (I don't know or care if it is appropriate) to tell as many people as possible how very special she was to so many. Those of you who have children will know a little of what I mean. Those of you who don't, well, hopefully some day you will experience love like we have for them.
Rachel was born in January of 1992 (all of my girls were born in January). She was such a blessing to us from that time forward. She had a head full of black, curly hair and was a little grumpy at first but this soon passed.
Sarah is Rachel's older sister and she was so excited to have her arrive. Sarah called her "baby Rachel" and was constantly singing to her and entertaining her any way she could, including filling her crib with stuffed animals. At that time we were living in Dyersburg, Tennessee on a small farm. The girls loved growing up there. They spent a good deal of their time outdoors playing, looking at bugs, watching birds and butterflies, playing with the dogs, and just enjoying themselves. 
Rachel was a very dramatic child. She loved the camera and hogged all of the video she could. Poor Sarah rarely was in a shot by herself but she didn't mind. Rachel was always smiling (my friend Montie called it that Swetnam shit eating grin). Our next door neighbors, Larry and Jennie Sue, were like grandparents to them. We shared holidays with Easter egg hunts and Miss Jennnie Sue was always decorated for Halloween and Christmas and the girls could not wait to go look, over and over. Mr Larry would take them on "nature rides" in his golf cart and they would look at bird nests and the garden. They cherished the time and Janet was happy for a little break.
Rachel loved clothes and fashion as an adult. I think that came from two sources. The first was a bag of "dress up" clothes that a friend gave Janet. The girls were constantly dressing in them and wearing them around the house. Whenever friends came over they would all dress up and have fashion shows. They were pretty funny and bring a smile to my face as I think of it. One time at Miss Angela's, Rachel and Mallory shaved their legs in the tub. I think they were three. Janet and Miss Angela were mortified...Rachel was always ahead in fashion and personal care. The stoles were VERY popular and Sarah and Rachel would wear them while riding our golf cart. Hot or cold they would have them on, the golf cart at full speed with a dust cloud behind, waving and smiling as they went by.
That poor golf cart. The girls would have friends over and they would be hanging all over it, riding around in the fields. When her cousins Jake, Alex, and Andrew came over they would get driving lessons. The golf cart finally did die, but not after at least 100,000 miles.
We had numerous pets when they were growing up, dogs, cats, hamsters, fish, owls that were found after storms, horses, sheep, peacocks, you name it, we probably had one. If one of them died we would have a funeral in our pet cemetary....Catholic Mass of course....and everyone, including our neighbors would have to come.
When school started the girls made a whole new pack of friends. Miss DeeAnne was their art teacher and I think that is what cultivated Rachel's creativity. She mixed her love of art and her love of clothes....fashion design came out. The girls had a great time in primary school in Dyersburg. Camping with Miss Jane and Anna Claire, hanging out with Mallory and the Lemons girls, Kayla, Hannah, Anne Taylor clicking through the house in those high heels, and too many other friends to name. Uncle Kevin, Aunt Brenda and Aunt Mary(not really even related except in the heart), Uncle Greg and Aunt Kris, Aunt Caren, Uncle Steve and John, Uncle Craig and Aunt Tammy, Uncle Putsy, all the Louisiana cousins, greased pig contests, 4th of July fireworks at the club, and the county fair...I could go on all day, these were great times. They were good girls, only having to "go to the wall" at lunch once or twice. Janet and I made a lot of friends too, getting to know other parents at functions and birthday parties.
In middle school, Sarah paved the way for Rachel and when she got there, she was "in charge". The principal, Mr Mickey, was so kind to my girls and loved them. Of course they loved him back and Rachel would sit in his office at lunch and give him suggestions on how to improve the school. This went on through high school as Mr Mickey took the high school principal position later. He was always nice enough to humor her. Rachel and Sarah were always funny and smart in school and Mr Mickey appreciated that. Not treating them like kids, but enjoying their blooming personalities. Until the day she died she would talk about him. High school was filled with friends and laughter, too many friends to name.
Rachel and Sarah were cheerleaders from middle school through high school and Rachel and I took Tae Kwon Do together through the Lewis institute....yes she was a first degree black belt. We had a great time with Master Lewis and our classmates going to tournaments and giving me a chance for some one on one time with her.
I left Dyersburg for Tulsa when Rachel was 15 to do a Cosmetic Surgery Fellowship. I flew back and forth on the weekends. Rachel and Sarah liked to fly, Sarah because it made travel quicker and Rachel so she could pee in the airplane pee bags. She loved it when the pee turned to a gel. I can still see her face, smiling and peeing in the bag, Sarah complaining that it was "gross". One weekend my friend DY flew Rachel and Anna Claire to Rogers, Ark and I picked them up and brought them to Tulsa for the Tulsa State Fair. We had the best time looking at all the animals and going to the rodeo and concert after. They thought that the cowboys were "cute", and maybe Oklahoma wasn't so bad. In high school Rachel took FFA believe it or not and showed sheep (little Jerry Seinfeld was her first). She also loved beauty pageants and won or placed in a number of them, her last one was miss teen Oklahoma which she won. She was probably the first with a thick Tennessee accent but she made a number of very close friends there and had a great time collecting books as her project for the kids of Tulsa.
Rachel loved kids and old people. She could talk to anyone and enjoyed visiting with elderly people, going to nursing homes, and watching the kids at our local Church.
At age 16, Rachel had a bad car accident. Our road was closed due to bridge work and we had to use an alternate, narrow, curvy, blacktop to get to town. One rainy morning while she was heading to school her front wheel went off of the side of the road and when she corrected, the car went off of the road into a gully, flipped over, landed on its top on an old truck bed. The car was totaled and the man behind her thought she was surely dead. She was just knocked out but had a concussion, a broken collar bone, and a cut on her forehead that she would only let me sew up. We were lucky that day.
Rachels junior year we moved to Tulsa. She was always so excited to move from Dyersburg....until we did. She had a hard time at first but we kept encouraging her. Our good friends in Tulsa, Bob and Stephanie, told us she needed to go to Cascia Hall, a prep school, and we said sure. We interviewed there and they were not excited about Rachel at all. They felt she would not fit in academically. Stephanie said "she is going to Cascia", and it was done. We got her tutors to get caught up and Rachel took off like a bird in the academic world. We were so proud. She also lit up the social life there making tons of new friends, many of which she introduced to her old friends who still remained close. Our house was always full of new people....they loved to hear her talk. She really matured and later commented that that was the best move we ever made.
Sarah was gone to Oxford and Ole Miss during this time but encouraged Rachel. We made frequent trips to games there to watch the Rebels and had a great time. Rachel really liked Oxford but in the fashion world, Fayetteville was where it was at for her. That was good because the SEC is the only conference in her eyes.
She learned to "call the hogs" with the best of them and we did too. She pledged Tri Delta and for the most part had a good experience making many close friends. She had such a great time at Arkansas and loved her major. Her freshman year she had to go through the draw for a roomate, due to a last minute change, and met Wesley. They lived in a small suite with four girls and one bathroom...quite a feat...but they had a great time. Wesley is how Rachel met Trey (the boy who was also killed in the accident). Rachel and Trey never dated or had any romantic interests, they just loved each other and loved being together. When they were alone, they each would draw a crowd because they were usually happy and made everyone feel good about themselves. When they were together, it was crazy the crowd they could draw...like moths to a flame. They would laugh and cut up constantly, argue and fight like brother and sister. Trey would come to our house often when nothing was going on in Fayetteville and we would all laugh at their escapades. Janet would cook some good Cajun food and that would get them all fired up to come. We had a blast just watching them. 
They took great pleasure in the most simple things. Rachel enjoyed every second and Trey went along for the laughs. Just going to Wal-Mart was exciting for Rachel. She worked at Rif Raf in Fayetteville, a clothing and vintage store, and loved it. From what I hear, the customers and owners loved her back. She amassed a very large clothing collection from there (I don't think she ever made any money), but that is what she loved. Rachel, in addition to her degree in fashion, would have had a minor in Mandarin Chinese. This was something she worked very hard at and enjoyed. She started Chinese in high school in Dyersburg, it was supposed to have been French but a last minute teacher change fixed all that. She liked drawing all of the characters that is required in Chinese and laughed while teaching her friends phrases. She had been on the Deans list for every semester at Arkansas and carried a 3.8 GPA.....she was very smart and credited study habits she learned at Cascia for her college success.
Rachel also had a bucket list. Funny for a girl her age, and I think it changed daily. She would add things as she did them instead of the other way around. I found that funny and she could not understand why. The simplest things were added...I think kissing Mark in the rain was the last one...good for Mark. I am sad she did not get to complete it here on earth, but ultimately, heaven was the biggest item on it so I am sure she is fulfilled.
Rachel's future was very bright. Her studies required an internship in the industry and she was slated to go to LA with my niece Paige (also in the fashion game) for an internship with Missoni and Rachel Zoe. I am sure she would have lit the place up and there would not have been a dull moment with Paige and Rachel together. Paige told me "it's like getting a big box for Christmas...and now I can't open it", I feel bad for her, they would have had sooo much fun. She also had landed a small part in a movie about Brian Burlsworth, a lineman from Arkansas that was very popular and loved, who had just been drafted by the Colts to block for Peyton Manning. He too was tragically killed in an accident in the prime of his life....how ironic. Rachel had visions of being discovered, a pipe dream of course, but knowing her, she could talk her way into anything. (Her and one of her friends, Taylor, once talked their way from the nose bleed seats to standing in front of the stage at a Keith Urban concert....she got to touch his shoe....she could sweet talk for sure.) We all were looking forward to her exploits, family and friends alike, and Trey and Rachel were rooming together next year, there would have been some fireworks there.
I'm trying to wrap this up but it is hard through the tears. We all will miss her terribly, Janet, Sarah and I, Rachel had a million "best friends", then she had special "best friends" and ya'll know who you are. Janet, Sarah, and I love all of you, not only for who you are, but because you loved our little girl almost as much as we did, and you brightened our days. Thank you all for being there for us and PLEASE don't stop calling. Rachel's faith was very strong and she once told me she "couldn't wait to get to heaven, it'll be so much fun!!". I take some comfort in the fact that heaven is where she is, with very fashionable wings I am sure. I also take some small comfort in the fact that Trey is with her. They would not have done well without each other, together they were something special. She is visiting with all of our relatives that are there, some of whom she is meeting for the first time, and I'm sure Miss Jackie is cradeling her on that big chest. I am also sure she is comforting the little ones that have arrived from the tragic tornados in OK. Moms, please know that Rachel will watch over, comfort and love them until you get there some day. I have been doing some reading lately about these mysteries and one of the books says that God does not take our children away from us, nature or man does. Jesus is there when they cross over, weeping and wailing with us as we mourn their loss and comforting them in heaven. I believe this. For those of you who knew Rachel, remember her always, keep her joy for the small things alive in your life. For those that did not know her, well, just know you would have loved her, you just couldn't have helped yourself, she was beautiful, down to earth, funny, smart, adventurous, and loved to laugh.
Thank you all for listening, and, as Montie would say.. I love you Rachel Swetnam......